a) RELAXATION---Relaxation exercises such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help to calm down angry feelings. Here are some simple steps that you can try:
• Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm not the chest. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
• Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat the phrase yo yourself as you breathe deeply.
• Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
• Try non-strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises as they can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
b) COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING ---This in simple terms means changing the way you think. When people are angry, their inclination is to curse, swear, or speak in loudly in words that reflect their inner thoughts. When a person is angry, their thinking can get very exaggerated and very dramatic. The following cognitive measures can help you to deal more effectively with anger:
- Replace irrational thoughts with more rational ones--For instance, when faced with a anger provoking experience, instead of telling yourself, "oh, this is so terrible, everything's is a mess," you can tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but this is not the end of the world --and anger will not to fix the problem anyway."
- Try to use sparingly or avoid all together words like ‘must’ "never" or "always" when describing yourself or another person----For instance avoid phrases like “I never do anything right” when describing yourself “or” you’re always forgetting things” when describing another person. Such statements are not accurate; moreover, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem being experienced. They also keep off people who might be willing to help you get a solution to the problem.
- Use logic----Think logically and avoid irrational outbursts. It’s important to know that anger even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. Consciously remind yourself that getting angry will not fix anything and it will only make you feel worse. Use of logic defeats anger.
c) AVOID MAKING DEMANDS---When you make demands on people and people fail to meet these demands, anger results. It’s important to help people to reflect on their demanding nature and to help them to translate their expectations into desires. People should learn to make requests instead of making demands on people. This is healthier because if the request is not granted one will only experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger.
d)PROBLEM SOLVING -Sometimes, our anger is caused by real and inevitable problems in our lives. When faced with such a situation, the best attitude is to look for ways of handling the problem. It’s important to analyze the problem and to understand it; then make a plan, on the best way to handle it. Generate all the alternatives that you can use to tackle the problem; then choose the best alternatives and implement them. Avoid punishing yourself if the solution is not arrived at as quickly as expected. It’s important for individuals to exercise patience as they implement the problem solving strategies that they have chosen.
e) EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION---When people are angry they draw conclusions very fast and tend to communicate them very quickly and often inappropriately. When a person is angry, the best thing is to stay calm and think through their responses. They should also listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take time before answering. People should also learn to listen to what is causing the anger. Take for example a situation where one spouse likes a some amount of freedom and personal space, while their spouse would rather have more connection and closeness. In a situation like this it’s inappropriate to respond with hurtful words if their spouse starts complaining about their activities. The message the other person may be communication which is the underlying cause of anger is that they could be feeling neglected and unloved. Once you’ve understand this, your response will help to mitigate the anger of your spouse. Moreover, this will also help you to avoid developing feelings of anger.
f) USING HUMOR -We can use humour to diffuse anger. More often than not anger is caused by unrealistic expectation that we should always have perfect outcomes. Instead of being worked up, we can use humour to help diffuse a tense situation. Although anger is a deep emotion, it's often accompanied by realities that, if closely examined, can cause laughter. However humour should be used cautiously. It’s not right to “laugh off" problems; instead humour should be used to face such problems constructively. Its inappropriate also to use harsh, sarcastic humour because this is just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
g) CHANGING YOUR ENVIRONMENT/TIME OUT---Anger can emanate from the realities of our immediate surroundings. We can mitigate anger by creating some "personal time" particularly when our schedule is very stressful. Taking some time off can diffuse the anger which would otherwise would have been.
h) FORGIVENESS - In human interaction, being hurt and hurting other people is inevitable. These interpersonal hurts often result to anger, bitterness and a desire for revenge. Forgiveness is a very effective measure in mitigating of these negative emotions.
i) USE 'I' STATEMENTS- We can use —"I" statements to describe the problem. This will help us to avoid apportioning blame to others which results to heightening of our anger and provoking of theirs. We can for example say: "I'm upset that you left the house without saying goodbye," instead of saying, "You never say goodbye before leaving the house."
j) SEEK COUNSELLING HELP-Psychological counselling can help to equip an individual with anger management competencies. If you are constantly angry, and you seem to lose control often; if you are constantly hurting your significant others due to anger emotion, it’s important to seek anger management counseling. Professional help can help you to achieve the following:
- Understand the nature of anger.
- Develop competencies to identify anger triggers.
- Recognize signs of anger development.
- Learn to respond to anger in a healthy manner.
- Explore underlying emotions for example, anxiety and depression.
Titany answered the question on July 28, 2021 at 06:01