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1. Customers really want help. They're motivated to grow and change or to figure out a solution
for a complicated situation because they are in emotional and/or physical distress. They are
experiencing uncomfortable symptoms that might indicate an emotional or mental disorder,
grief or some type of transition. They WANT help, and they are willing to do almost anything
the counselor recommends to alleviate their distress or to make progress through a relational
or vocational dilemma. We counselors love to serve this type of client. Why? They cooperate
with our purpose, which is to help people. Unfortunately, other types are not as easy.
2.Complainants come to counseling appointments to inform the counselor of all the bad things
that their spouse, child or employer has done. "It's about time they get some help" is their not so subtle pronouncement when they enter the office. The point is usually lost on them that they might be part of the problem, either in the way that they are responding to their loved one (who isn't feeling their love), or because they actually precipitated the circumstance by some injurious attitude, words or behavior. The task of the counselor with complainants is to
facilitate their catharsis with good-will and respect, while praying and waiting for them to
indict themselves as part of the "identified client's" problems, or they invite the counselor to opine. "You've heard the way I see things. How do you see things?" Effective listening with
sincerity and respect often earns the right to be heard. At that juncture it becomes possible to transition the "complainant" to a "customer" who is willing to work on something to help the
"identified client", or to improve the situation.
3. Visitors are clients that have been mandated to attend counseling. Either their spouse,
employer or a good friend has somehow given an ultimatum or leveraged them "to at least try
counseling before you (divorce, quit your job, continue your addiction, etc.)." The
classic visitor sits mostly silent with arms crossed, daring the "shrink" to "get me to talk". This is where the psychologically trained professional earns the full fee. While a temptation is to refuse t o play the game, compassion and discernment usually reveals that the visitor is scared.
Why else would they respond to pressure of ultimatum? There must be something they fear
worse than counseling, such as loss of relationship, job, or freedom (e.g., counseling in lieu of incarceration). Once that is discovered, it becomes possible to transition the visitor to the posture of a customer. There must be something they want. One of my most effective questions is this, "What's the least amount of change that (the one that mandated counseling)
wants to see that would get them off your back?" This makes possible the development of a
therapeutic alliance with the visitor. Now you can start working on something together. The
clients experiences the counselor as being in their corner. Once the objective they chose is
satisfied, it is not uncommon for such clients to identify other objectives. "Hey, you helped me with that. Maybe you can help me with." That's pay-dirt in a therapeutic relationship; an
invitation to be helpful.
Titany answered the question on September 13, 2021 at 09:58