Date Posted: 3/4/2018 6:56:15 AM
Posted By: Faimus Membership Level: Gold Total Points: 1012
Marriage is considered one of the rites of passage in the traditional African society. This rite is deep seated in Africa as it is in other parts of the world. Marriage regardless if it is civil, religious or traditional, forms an important part of the life of an individual. The concept of marriage has evolved from the traditional arranged marriages to individuals having independent choice of who they would like as their spouses. However, in all cases marriage is hoped to last long and be prosperous. However, this is not always the case and several marriages end up in divorce. What is alarming, however, is the fact that the number of divorces keeps increasing annually. In many cases, the causes of the divorces are repetitive.In this current era, people get into the life of marriage after only a few period of interacting with each. They tend to take this important decision based on factors such as physical attraction, social circle, wealth and money, age and influence from friends. After such couples have already been married then the cracks in their relationship begin to form and show. This is because in the short period the couples interact before marriage, they may not spend enough time together to get to know each other’s character, behaviour, likes and dislikes and hobbies. Differences may arise as one may find a certain character or behaviour of their partner, which they were completely unaware of during the short dating period , intolerable. These differences may prove unworkable over time causing a rift between the couple in the marriage , mostly leading to divorce. It is therefore advisable that couple take enough time to know each other well and familiarize themselves with each other before taking the important step of getting married. News of domestic violence have become a daily norm in many countries. Contrary to the opinion of many, domestic violence affects both men and women. Domestic violence is another major basis of divorce. Domestic violence may involve verbal, emotional and in most cases physical abuse. The results of such actions may be minor injuries that can be easily treated even at home, sever injuries that require hospitalization and in the most serious of cases , death and permanent disability. The reaction of couples facing domestic violence differs from one couple to another. Some victims of domestic violence in their marriages may file for divorce on the onset of the violence while others prefer stay in their marriages with the hope the situation will improve as time passes. However, in most cases, this does not happen since the violence goes on until it proves fatal to the victims. Religious and socio-cultural beliefs, influence from relatives and friends also play a major role in ensuring some people stay in their violent marriage by encouraging patience. This, however, may prove fatal for the victims of such marriages.Loneliness is another cause of divorce in many marriages. Loneliness in marriage refers to not getting enough time and attention from one’s spouse due to various reasons. Loneliness is especially an issue in long distance relationships. In this kind of relationships the couple does not enjoy physical interaction and have to do so via texts or calls. Loneliness may also occur whereby ones spouse spends long hours of their day working or has other matters that require their attention such as illness of a parent. After marriage, some people tend to take their relationship with their spouse for granted and therefore spend less time with their spouse compared to the time when the two were still dating. This may prove fatal for their marriage since it causes loneliness and since people pick up new habits every so often, the couple may end up as strangers lining under the same roof. Another reason for loneliness while still in a marriage may result from the couple having different interests. In this case, the couple do not spend any meaningful time together. Whenever a person does not get enough attention from their spouse , some people may decide to look for that attention elsewhere leading to infidelity and finally divorce. Loneliness sometimes leads to the loss of love between the couple and hence divorce. Some people may also find it difficult to talk with their spouses concerning the matter and divorce may seem the easy way out.Money and finances also plays a vital role in the marriage life of all couples. This is because money is required to cater for basic household needs. In a marriage, both partners may have a source of income while in other cases there is a sole breadwinner. In the case of a sole breadwinner , low income mostly translates to inability to sustain and cater the needs of one’s family. In most cases, this forms a basis for outbursts and quarrels in the marriage. Some people may opt out of the marriage since their spouse cannot sustain them properly. This is especially a problem where children are involved since their needs are several. In another case, the income of one spouse may be higher than that of the other. This may lead to loss of respect by the spouse who has a higher earning and finally a divorce. In case where a spouse is unemployed, he or she may be considered as a liability by the other and may opt out of the marriage since they are looked down up and seen as inferior or may be physically abused.Another major cause of divorce is alcohol and drug abuse. Spouses who abuse drugs tend to spend all their money to satisfy their addictions and spare little or no money for their families. They may also loose motivation to work leading to their poor performance in their work and hence loss their jobs if at all they are employed. Inability to support their family may lead to divorce. Drug abuse also causes unexpected outbursts, anger and rage in marriages. This mostly ends up in physical violence which leads to divorce as it may be dangerous to live under the same roof with an abusive person.One of the reasons people decide to get marriage is to have children. Although this may not be the main reason, it is the hope of most couples that after marriage, children will follow at the time they deem right. Lack of children may cause divorce if a spouse considers children a very important part of marriage. Lack of children may result from natural barrenness or a reproductive disorder in either of the pair. Lack of children may cause discrimination from a spouse’s relatives and the society and an individual may opt out of a marriage due to frustration from the negative criticism from the former. A spouse may also consider children very important and may divorce the other to marry another who can give the children they yearn. This may be galvanized by socio-cultural beliefs of an individual.Marriages are meant to last for a long time but there are several factors that may prove that impossible. It is advisable that a couple should try to resolve all maters that they face in the course of their marriage peacefully and maintain communication so as to avoid misunderstandings. Tolerance and patience are key components of a marriage but if these factors put one’s life at risk or threatens their welfare or that of their children then it would completely justifiable that an individual files a divorce as remaining adamant in such a marriage may prove fatal.
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