Date Posted: 4/23/2018 8:54:33 AM
Posted By: ESTHER STEVE Membership Level: Silver Total Points: 247
Social media is loaded with surprises. So we wake up to this trending hash tag #ifikiewazazi. Apparently some teens took semi nude photos, others posing seductively and others openly engaging in sexual behavior publicly. Some tweeter holders got mad and created the hash tag with an aim of circulating the photos widely until a parent saw what their children were up to. Until now I am still debating whether the move was helpful or more destructive. That's an article for another day. The teens on learning about the hash tag took to social media to defend themselves. They posted videos claiming they had all the rights to use their bodies the way they deemed right and was wondering why on earth any one would be bothered by their nude photos.Memes were created with teens showing their reaction after their photos were shared yet they were orphans. Fake Whatsapp Chats were posted showing how parents would react after seeing the photos. I went through most comments and most people were on teen's necks. Oh the Y-generation is rotten, they heed not to instructions, they are a cursed lot, they should all be in jail... And on they went. Then came the bomb! Some teens created a hash tag too; #ifikiewatoto and also started posting pervert photos of the adults. I was taken aback! Looking critically at this matter, parents, society at large and the government is to blame. I will tell you why I think so. PARENTS When training as a teacher, psychology taught me that a child's brain is an empty slate at birth and it picks up lessons from the environment. The Bible also agrees with science when it says, train up a child in the right path and when he grows up he will not depart from it. Though not all parents are to be blamed, majority have failed in parenting. You will agree with me that we have parents who drink themselves silly and misbehave in front of their own children. Parents have had affairs right in front of their children. How then will such a parent guide their children when they teach them all the wrong things through their actions? Some girls have confessed to have even started dating their mother's former boyfriends. Then we have the sober parents whose actions are admirable. Their only downside is that the way of loving their children is actually wrong! They pamper the children. They allow much freedom to the children, dish out money at the teens request, allow them to party all night and they do not care much about which friends their children hang out with. At the parties, much happen, they meet with pervert adults out to exploit them and they fall prey. These parents always side with their children even when in the wrong especially at school. Some even help their children break school rules. You are wondering how? Take simple school rules like opening the school on time and not carrying food to school. I have seen students report to school a day or two after and a parent calling to ask the teacher to spare them and blame it on them. Asking why, lame excuses are given like they were at their aunt's and I got busy to go pick them up. I am a teacher and I have seen parents help children sneak in food items knowing well they are banned. It may look okay but in doing so you are teaching your children rules are not important and you also teach then the art of lieing. Phones are not allowed in school, your lovely child has one, you do not bother to ask for it when they are going back to school. Through the phones crazy meetings are organized, photos are taken and a lot of mess is created. Then we have the strict parents. They are very harsh and will severely punish even a minor mistake. We see their children photos among the ones being shared and we wonder, why? The parents are known as strict disciplinarians. Being strict alone will not instill discipline but fear. Discipline is to be instilled with love. Most of these parents are not close to their children. The children thus see them as monsters and they will always run away from them. When you cannot sit and listen when your children are in the wrong, if you cannot reason together when setting rules, if you just prohibit things with no explanation, they will find a way and they will defy. Most children from such families get into drugs, early marriages and so on just to run away from home. My mom was one strict parent but her love towards me, I cannot quantify it. Of course as a teen I felt like I am caged but she was the very first friend I would trust with my fears. She made me understand why I was prohibited from this and that and anytime I was in the wrong, she would sit me down, remind me of the rules, tell me to scrutinize the effects of my crime to my life then I would get a warning or she would beat the hell out of me. Parents should learn how to balance discipline and love. Get involved in their children's lives positively, know your children's friends if possible even the parents. Try to find out if their value system matches yours. Create a friendly environment so your children can trust you first. Check their rooms regularly. Understand they have challenges growing up and let them know it is normal. Teach them how to overcome those challenges. Give them your life experiences. Don't be ashamed if you failed or made a mistake. Let them learn from your mistakes. Be the first to support teachers in maintaining discipline, teach them how to respect other adults. Limit the amount of money you give them. Teach your children to work and appreciate work. I know it is not easy but a try is worth.SOCIETY Apart from the parents , the society has a big role in bringing children up. I am lucky to have found the last times of society parenting, where every adult had a right to discipline a child in the community directly or by reporting to the parents. Gone are the days and I doubt they are coming back. These days, teens confidently walk into bars buy beer and sit down to drink. Sometimes back this was considered lack of respect to the elders and no one would dare. So adults are selling children beer and drinking in the same bars. Grown up men are supposed to be father figures in the society. These days it is the same men who date young girls and women date young boys. It is so sad that even some teachers have been convicted due to carnal knowledge. If our moral beacons are leading us astray, why then blame our teens? We adults see teens misbehaving and all we do is sneer, curse or laugh. So sad! If you look at the recent years, crazy things have emerged. Remember the kirinyaga bus incidence where teens were caught high on drugs? Do students own buses? Definitely No! An adult had organized the whole thing for money. Perhaps they were also in the business of selling drugs to the students. Then came the project X. Teens, especially girls were encouraged to dress scantly. Do you think this party was meant for teens alone? Never! Adults own the clubs and are in the drug and blue movies business. It won't be a surprise that sponsors of the project were fathers and mothers, big men and women in the Society!Our teens are growing up in a crazy environment. They see all sorts of crap and the people they trust to guide them prey on them. Left right and centre immorality is armed with chains waiting for the teen's hands. Even men of clothe nowadays cannot be trusted. We have seen some of them exposed preying on the youth in the congregation. How then do we look at the teens like aliens? Don't they learn from us? GOVERNMENT The government is also to blame. There is a lot of leniency in handling drug dealers and protecting our teens from greedy adults. Why for example do police not crack down on clubs selling beer to under 18 teens? Why don't we have rules prohibiting posting nude photos in social media? The government through the ministry of education banned almost all forms of punishment of students something that has made maintaining discipline a challenge. The same ministry has neglected guidance and counselling department where teachers are just appointed like any other head Of department to guide and counsel students. These teachers are not trained as counsellors, they are classroom teachers and disciplinarians as well. Counselling is vital in aligning teens in the right path. When this is missing, teens seek answers from internet, social media and from peers and end up being misled. I really cry for our teens. Most of them will get into drugs, get pregnant, others contract HIV /Aids , they get raped, they drop out of school, some commit suicide after their lives are ruined... The list is long. Rather than point fingers at the teens, why don't we re-examine our ways and save these souls?
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