Date Posted: 8/24/2012 2:49:41 PM
Posted By: meg soni Membership Level: Gold Total Points: 2477
The act of loving is refreshing and endearing.In the early stages of love,our partners appear to be perfect but as time progresses and the relationships grows reality begins to settle in.We start to notice our partner's dark side,a side we were to previously ignorant of.We recognize that our perfect loved ones are not perfect and have personality traits that irritate us.Suddenly,the fairy tale dream is over and we become aware that they have a huge capacity for hurt and anger.If left unattended such small issues can cause hate and resentment.There can be no love if there is no forgiveness but sometimes when your love hurts you,it is difficult to find that forgiveness.Evidently,the decision to forgive,what to forgive and what not to forgive is a tough one to make.Forgiveness is an attitude of the strong and genuine love is always topped with a large measure of forgiveness.Only relationships where genuine love is pursued that attain success and happiness.Couples who forgive each other are often happier than those who do not.Forgiveness begins by understanding the real environment of love and hurt.In such an environment,looks hurt,words crush,intimate partners become enemies and relationships turn into battlefields.It is important to bear in mind what entails forgiveness.Forgiveness includes a process of losing the desire to retaliate,letting go negative emotions and seeking growth.It brings peace and closure.However,remember that it is slow and may take time to come by.Here are some steps to guide you towards forgiveness:1.Rekindle the attitude of love:When you are hurt,it is easy to feel anger and resentment.You are in an emotionally disturbed position and you are cautious in order to avoid more hurt.Because of this,you may tend to resist any attempts at reconciliation,no matter how genuine they may be.However,if you are still in love,then it is important to forgive because forgiveness is the way of love.2.Release the pain:Genuine love does not keep a score of wrongs and neither does it bring up past failures.Your partner may not always do the right thing,but bear in mind that you are not perfect either.Understand that you cannot erase the pain,but you can set yourself up for healing.This should be fostered by willingness on your partner's part to confess and agree that they were wrong.By releasing the pain,you will put a closure to a hurtful chapter and refresh yourself for a healthier relationship.3.Rebuild the relationship:This is where the real purpose of forgiving lies.You choose to forgive because you desire to make things right in your broken union.Choose to be kind,a kind word turns away anger.Your partner may at times appear to relapse to the mistakes he is correcting.He or she may lash out.But by deliberately trying not to reciprocate heat with heat,you not only portray maturity but encourage the good seeds that are struggling to germinate within your spouse.Do not attempt to impose your own perceptions the only logical way to run things in the relationship.Re-visit what happened,find out things that might have done wrong.Investigate why your partner behaved the way they did.It could be very well be that they were facing a difficult situation and felt like you were abandoning them.Offer encouraging words and try not to bring out the wrongs done as a constant pointer.They will only seal the existing avenues of reconciliation and growth.4.Reaffirm the relationship:Commit yourself to grow by cultivating the values that founded your union.See yourself as a part of the change that you need in the relationship.Relationships gain focus,healing and strength when each spouse shines the light or change on oneself and sees their own issues,luggage,hurts,weaknesses and faults with the aim to make a change.5.Reopen the future:Make a commitment to support your partner in making amends.Identify areas he or she is struggling in and try to bring out the very best in and for him or her.Do not be too judgmental. Learn from previous error and move on.Note that happy,growing relationships are made up of people who understand that successful unions comprise learning,understanding,patience and commitment.Do not be too swift to give up when things get tough.It does not necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed.The path to wholesome recovery is a gradual and unpredictable process.Forgiveness will not only bring you personal fulfillment,but happiness,contentment,emotional growth and stability.So choose to forgive that special someone.
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