Factors to consider before settling for marriage

  

Date Posted: 11/22/2012 3:09:53 AM

Posted By: Franco1989  Membership Level: Silver  Total Points: 321

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There is no question about it, the reason why so many marriages end up in weeks is because many people for wrong reasons and have different expectation on what marriages should be. Without doubt, the choice of a marriage partner should not be based on the fact that you feel on top of the world when you are together. If that feeling is short lived, nothing will be left to hold on your marriage together.

When considering marriage, there is need to appreciate that feelings alone wont make marriage work. There are many other things that need to be in place.
Granted, love and strong feelings play a big role in keeping any relationship together, but its also important to include your head and not just want in the decision making process.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and it means choosing the person you will see everyday of your life with. In essence, this is the person you will ha ve to put up with and the person you will share your love with.
Because of this, choosing that individual can be one of the toughest decision you will ever have to make in life. This explains why it should be done with utmost care.
Most of this, choosing that individual can be the person you will have children with, and they will be the mother and father to those children. Therefore before you make the final decision, you will need to consider some important dynamics. Keep in mind that your decision has to be made on solid considerations.

Statement of the problem
It’s one’s expectation towards marriage that makes him or her to have a successful and fulfilling marriage or live to regret all their marital life. Many young people believes that since they are attracted to each other, that’s a

recipe enough to start a family. This is partly due to the influence of the soap operas programs aired in most local television stations.

Purpose of the article is to;
1.To help the young adults make decisions not merely based on their feelings alone but engaging their minds when settling for a life partner.
Objectives of the Study
2.To find out some of the factors that should be considered before entering into marriage so as
3.To avoid future regrets and unfulfilled marriage life.
Significance of the study
People are marrying and are getting married and marriages continues to be fashionable. The information is of significance to those who are not married and also to those who are married because its never too late to collect one’s mistake if there were and also to correct the perception that has been distorted by media influence of what a typical marriage should be.
Justification
The justification of everything on earth determines whether it can withstand the storms of the world.
When the foundation is strong and expectation are realistic, the marriage will withstand any wave that comes along but on contrary if the foundation is weak and unrealistic or wrong expectations the marriage will be rocky and stressful and might end up with a break.

INTRODUCTION

It goes without say that in order to find out what you are searching for, you must get out there and look. Your dream man will not just come knocking at your door. This never happens in real life so if you are waiting to be found so you will be waiting for a long time.
If marriage is your thing and you feel that you are ready for it, go out there and start looking and also be seen. And while you are at it, be sure not to settle for the first person you meet who seems interested in you. Dating is like going for many interviews. Until you meet your right match be prepared.
The following are some of the factors that should be considered. Remember, these could be time bombs that may jeopardize your marriage in future.
2.1 Readiness: Are you all set for this.
Before jumping to get married, make sure that you are ready to take that big leap. Ask yourself whether you are ready for such a long change in your life. Most women will say Yes in the midst of all excitement when he proposes in the most romantic setting. So, even many engagement will be highly romanticized, bear in mind that marriages is not a bed of roses and definitely into for the weak.
It takes a lot of hard work and determination to hack it. In this case, take a look at any fears that might interfere or influence you decision to get married.
First and foremost, you need to be comfortable with your life and not try to use marriage as an escape strategy fro existing problems. For instance, if you are getting married because your biological clock is ticking and are afraid of being alone, then you are marrying for the wrong reason. One thing we ought to know is that if this is the reason for getting married then marriage never take away your loneliness. And if you are getting married because you think there are few good men and women left out there, you are marrying for the wrong reason.
When you are deciding on whether to get married, be sure it is what you really want. Remember there is no sure path to failure than to make decisions based on what others expect of us.
2.2 Taking life inventory
Before deciding to settle down, you must take inventory of where you are in life and how you perceive your future. Its important to be honest with yourself and evaluate what you and your partner want in future. This is where conflicting interests will crop in regard to your endeavors.
For instance, do both of you want children? If so, when would you plan on having them? In such a case, your partner may want to have children immediately while you may have different plans altogether.
Another concern should be whether your spouse already has children from their past and if you will be okay with that. Moreover, you also need to ask yourself whatever kind of relationship you want. Would you fancy the traditional or modern type of marriage? This question goes hand in hand with whether you are both career people or if one of you will be comfortable staying at home to look after children. With modern lifestyle its necessary to have clearly defined roles for each partner in order to avert tension in the future.
2.3 Faith and Spirituality
While inter-religious marriage are not a new thing, the issue of spirituality must not be disregarded. Both of you must be open on what part of religion plays in your life, if at all? Are you from the same religion and if so would you indulge in religious activities together? And if you are from different religious are you ready to take on that king of adversity?
You also need to talk about your children spiritual line. If you have different religious background. You need to plan on how you are going to work on your children’s spiritual growth. Ideally, the aspect of religious is long team and must be given priority.
People relate to something beyond themselves and thus spiritual inclination is important over the course of life. If you are both growing spiritually, you will experience more gratification even though you may be from different religions. But if you choose not to participate at all, that is different matter altogether…. But its well worth being aware as early as possible that this might be a problem in future.
2.4 Handling your finances.
It is vital to highlight how important money is in a couples life. What are you willing to sacrifice and what kind of life you do plan on having. On this note you must sit down with your partner and discuss what prospects you have. For instance, what are your mutual priorities and what will be your contribution towards this or that?
Although money is important, if its your ultimate priority- prepare for a lonely life ahead. Even though overlook your home and family.the sensible thing would be to use money as a means of acquiring a happy home and providing for your family’s needs.

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