Rules to fighting lovingly in a relationship.

  

Date Posted: 12/7/2012 5:41:20 AM

Posted By: Dougy Songs  Membership Level: Silver  Total Points: 325

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Most of us know and will agree that fights are inevitable in any healthy relationship. However you can learn to have friendly fights that build a healthier,loving relationship.

Friendly fighting is in-built, acquired from family or just learnt. Most couples learn it by working it out together and supporting each other even when differences mystify, frustrate and upset their otherwise cosy relationship. Feel confident to fight, this means couples should not fear fighting as differences may point at things to learn from each other.

1.Go after the issue, not your spouse's throat. Friendly fighting sticks with issue to get solutions. Name-calling or character assassination do not deal with the problem, they merely add new problems of hurt feelings.

2. LISTENING RESPECTIVELY.
- It involves acknowledging your spouse's feelings, verbally or through your body language, and respecting their opinion by not trying to counter it with your own.

3. TALKING SOFTLY:
- Show politeness, but also ensures your partner hears you out. It also concentrate all effort towards finding a solution, rather than the noise caused through yelling.

4. GETTING CURIOUS AND NOT DEFENSIVE.
- Don't get all defensive even she is wrong. Defending yourself merely escalates the fight. Ask for more information, details and facts instead. This makes room for understanding and compromise.

5. FINDING POINTS OF AGREEMENT:
- Is possible even in the deepest of disagreements. Finding common ground, even if it is agreeing that there is a problem, is an important start to finding a solution.

6. LOOK FOR OPTIONS:
- Fighting ends when cooperation begins. Asking politely for suggestions or alternatives invites collaboration. Carefully considering options shows respect, while offering alternatives of your own shows that you are willing to try new ideas.

7. MAKING CONCESSIONS.
- This can turn the situation around. If you give a little, it makes room for the other person to make concessions

too. Small concessions lead to larger compromises, and solution that is workable for both of you.

8. MAKE PEACE:
- Most happy couples don't go to bed angry. This may sometimes mean staying up very late to resolve a conflict. But it is worth waking up happy and optimistic.

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