Date Posted: 5/30/2013 1:17:21 AM
Posted By: Reenoti Membership Level: Silver Total Points: 290
Is it true that when you marry, you just don’t marry the person perse, and that you are actually marrying the entire family? I don’t think so, because the “I do” was just meant for the one standing in front of you on that wedding day and not the entire congregation. It is in order to allow these people into your lives because they are very important people in our lives as well as our spouse’s life. It is true that in laws should continue to be part and parcel of us but what happens when you warmly welcome them into your home expecting to live together as a family and yet, their mission is just to destroy your own home? Worse still, when they have attained marriageable age, and working for that matter? Most of you will agree with me that when someone is single, expenses in the house are not as much as when one has a family. Being a bachelor, you get enough time to visit your mama at home, you get enough savings to cater for your siblings every need and even bring developments into your rural home. But what happens when you get a wife, then kids start joining you. You find that you spend a lot because pampers have to be budgeted for, the kindergarten fees which is somehow equivalent to our college fees, paying the baby sitter, the list is endless. In such a state, one has to economize the little or much money that he has.This is the point at which you as a wife, will see the true colours of your in laws. They start making blames of all sorts, “this woman does not allow our brother to go visiting mama in the rural nowadays, this woman is refusing with our brother’s money and now he can’t even bring any development at home, this woman has told our brother not to pay for us school fees” and all these are baseless. You become the enemy of the home even when you don’t have a hand in any of the allegations. This is the point when you and your spouse should stick together and keep in mind that your marriage is for the two of you to work on and not any other third party, and don’t let them make you abandon your betrothed at the alter.1) Ask your spouse to approach your in laws.If you do the approach by yourself, salt and pepper will be added to the little problem that you were trying to solve as the woman of the house. Ask your husband to solve any issue arising between you and your in laws or better still, square the issue if both of you are present such that there will be no denying of having said one thing or another.2) Keep it short and simpleSomeone else is living in your house and they kind of show disrespect to you as the woman of the house. Assume as if nobody is living there. Talk to them only if it is very necessary apart from the normal greetings in the morning and evening when they come back. Avoid as much politics with these people as you can because they will really read your mind and thought. Be very secretive and in such a way, they will not get stories to send home that so and so is like this or that.3) Work on building your marriage for betterConcentrate on what you do. If you decide to go back to college, know that it is this education that will lift you family up. Don’t bother on whatever these people say because most of them want to wreck havoc and see that nothing moves. Do the best for your family because this will forever remain your family but the in laws will one day go their separate ways and face their own problems and challenges just as you are facing. Do you know that the tree which bears the best fruits is the tree that gets most stones thrown to it so that the fruits can fall for others to enjoy? This is what happens when you are busy trying to make something good out of life, stones are thrown from all corners so that those fruits can start dropping one by one as they are picked by others to eat. So, just do the best for your spouse and children.
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